Scrolling through ....

 Planning, procrastinating and postponing seem the theme.

I plan, I get excited and then when it comes to the crux of the performance, I want to back out ... take the back door.

I am more accepting of how I am feelign these days - the good, the not so good and all that in between.  Just being wiht the emotions, feelings, mood, without any judgements.

As I sit in meditation, the first few moments are or feels like … “Ahhh bliss and then it takes me somewhere so deep or is that sleep.  And then I wait for the gong ... yes I have been practising the Vipassana meditation and dedicating all the virtues to Masters, teachers, all sentient beings.  I want nothing, I am doing nothing, and I am nothing .... and then towards the end I say Lokha samastha sukhino bhavanthu ... may there be peace and happiness in all beings!

Today I felt I had PLENTY of time and now it is almost 1pm.  I realised it felt like a waste.  Sometimes it is good to experience waste.  I asked where and why did I lose my time.  Even though time is a concept, a mere concept, it felt like I lost a lot today.  I was almost ready by 9 am to go to the lab, then after some journaling and meditation, it was 11:30am and then ate bread butter jam and then more doom scrolling.  And then hmmmm here I am!

My timer on the smart watch is dinging.  I don’t' feel like going to he lab, I am merely finding things I can out of joy.  Where did I lose my sense of joy.  

And then I collected some articles I got to read while doing lab work and heading out.  I had the chai that I put in the flask, it was too milky and I think the fennel seeds that I had in the mortar and pistol gave a "base" like taste.  

I have this book beside the laptop that says "Making Life Meaningful Day by Day". Well, am I?  I am chipping slowly in the world of lactoferrin, despite the disinterest, I am doign my best to stay interested to complete the lab experiments, and stay in "joy" ... today I feel only 20 percent ... let's see how the day unfolds.

The hidden potential is surely interesting.  

Ten minutes gone and another 6 remaining out of the second lot of the timer.  as I lift my head I read "No one can give your goals.  No one can dig for you.  This is your journey" by Warren Philip Gates.  What have I done with so called my life, with my PhD, with so called mind.  I like the birds chirping away in the background, I like the scorching heat today.  

There is some kind of peace in this quietness and sounds int eh background, no phone calls, no nothing.  May be this is the way universe is showing and clearing my path to my destination.

Take it easy Jai a part of me tells myself.  BE in the moment, smile, be grateful, uplift yourself, instead of scrolling through the social media, scroll through papers of literature ... hahahah!!!

Hidden potential

 This is such a useful book .... Hidden Potential by Adam Grant

My key learnings so far, I have excelled in languages because I do not have inhibitions when it come s to speaking the language, am not afraid of making mistakes, I am willing to learn.  

When it comes to learning, it is important to get comfortable with the uncomfortable .... yup and for me reading is ... and guess what ... reading is the best way for critical thinking.  Adam talked about a study where people read articles versus another group listened to them and the ones who read were able to recall and recollect better than the "audio" learners.

No wonder the scientists have to read a lot to critically think.

So far what I have found with research is:

1. getting the articles with key words - this is my favourite part - it is almost like hoarding the articles

2.  the next part is sorting the relevant articles based on the titles.  reading the title, abstract and conclusion seems to take lot longer and I loose the interest.   If it is fast, quick, tell me I will do it with minimal effort

3. then actually read the article.

Yesterday a fellow PhD student who has been in teh research field for a while showed me how she has done it and seems like a fast quick process.  If it is not relevant to the topic, just move on.

4.  then gather all the relevant may be 2-3 articles per topic and copy paste and then paraphrase.

I will try this tactic on Friday.  I will have the articles printed.

That's all for today, though I wanted to get to the lab early, it is already 8:30am.  I had a nice aloo palak wiht paratha for breakfast, did my one hour of midtation (mostly sleeping becore I leaned against the wall - it's not the same when I lean against the wall.  I went into a dream where I was moving houses or stuff was arriving at a new place.

Anyway, time to get ready and get moving!

Have an awesome day dear reader .... I will leave you wiht this question ..... what's for lunch?

Doing the dirty work

While cathcing up with a friend who had recently submitted his PhD thesis, I got insights into what aws working and what wasnt'.  I shared my observations.

I start my day at 5:35am.  If I am up before 6am, my pack is to do one our meditation and even if it is a minute or so later after 6am, do the 25 minute meditation.  Yup, I didnt' get out of the hostel without meditation, chai and a bag of food that I stack as seven stones (lagori) and send the picture on my WhatsApp.

So most days since end of July, more than 90 percent, I have been meditating for 1 hour a day and then I start my day with a cup of chai, make breakfast and lunch and few stretches of yoga (Surya namaskar) sun salutations and then shower and ready.  I do fnd a difference when I meditate for 25 minutes versus the Vipasana one hour and five minutes.  Vipassana sustains my energy for the whole day and I am able to have better regulations on my emotions and internal being.  The 25 minutes helps me survive, it gets me through the day and if I dont' meditate it is like going unprepared on a battlefield nto knowing how I would handle my internal state and regulate my emotions.  So Vipassana tops it all.

While having my chai I tend to listen to a book (audiobook) and reflect a bit.  Yesterday, I started "Hidden potential" by Adam Grant ... I got hooked on to it straight away, he talks about chess, strategies, talent and more so it is abotu character building.  We may have all the talents, etc, we can build on them but above all what matters most for success is "character".  interesting.

Later in the afternoon I caught up with Dr IT yup that's his nick name as his PhD is in Information Technology.  I reflected and I realised the thigns I do in the morning is my non-negotiables - meditation, chai, cooking, and then I am at NaLSH to do the work.  

Dr IT told me about doing the 'Dirty work'.  Sometimes, we want everything to be perfect.  in y case, I want all the articles laid out well, set and ready.  Fridays are my writing days and now I am panicking as I have my experiemnts to do, and write an academic article, plus the literature review writing, plus the data analysis, etc.  He said doign the dirty work, it reminded me of Marie Forleo's words 'starting before you are ready' or something like that or getting ready to be ready ... just start it all and things will start rolling.  

Changing the environment might help he said.  I love writing under a tree, green area, etc.  and now that the weather is warming up, I could just sit under a tree, bring the printed work.  And as I was talking I chunked it down to these steps:

1. Re-Searching - searching the articles with key words and downloading the articles

2. Re-Fining - sorting the articles to yes, no, and look into it later - basically sifting ad sorting the articles based on the title and title alone.  Reading the abstrct I found was time consuming and easier to just read the article

3. After step 2, repeat the process with the abstract and conclusion

4. Key artilces filed - understand, analyse, synthesise for later to criticise

5. What is the conclusion or my contribution

Repeat the process.

Doing the dirty wrk meant, starting where ever I was.  Rather than starting my experiments on day one, realistically, I need to start my experiments on day zero with preparations, etc.  Rinse bottles, label, prepping milk, plan this is the dirty work for day zero.  The actual work begins the day prior to the work also known as the dirty work.

I need to change location for my reading.  under the tree!

For writing, I can do this at home.  

For lab work, I have to do this in the lab :-)

So the three key wisdom point with Dr IT ... 

1. What are the top three goals for the day?

2. Do the dirty work ... 

3. Change of location for writing

After 15 years ....

The weekend was good and prior to that I was not sure if I would be able to make it to Melbourne.  I had 3 experiments in all to finish and had only completed one on Wednesday.  Thought I would push and get two completed on Thursday .... but guess what, I had to complete the data analysis and send that off to my supervisor.  So I timed myself, thought it would take me 1 hour for prepping, one hour for some analysis, and may be another hour to finalise and send it off .... all this happened 12 hours later ... so Thursday night I was still here and sent off the email around 11pm.  I need my beauty sleep, at least 8 hours of sleep.  And then I had a train to catch after lunch.  Ahhh ... PhD or Sri Sri I asked myself.  Through the works, I learnt it is not about this or that.  I can have it both.  I woke up at 6:30am, did my half hour of meditation, got ready to the lab and right into it.  By the time I finished my first experiment it was well after 3pm, so I knew my only hope and chance was to catch the 3am train if I finish my experiments by maximum midnight.

Why do we underestimate our time to complete things and overestimate other things?  A question I pondered all night.  I kept going and around 1am, I completed my experiments and I also had enough time just to go home and get my bags to go to the station.  I was not that sleepy.  I took some research articles with me to read on the way back in the train on Sunday.

Yes, I managed to reach Melbourne and I also heard that Sri Sri Gurudev was going to be at the Ashram in Melbourne, only thing was how would I get there?  I knew I wanted to go there and had no idea how, so I worked on texting and reaching out to people.  Since the train was going to be late, I was going to give up and later got the inside information that Sri Sri was going to be at the land around 11 am.  Long story short, I rang another friend who happens to live near Epping and brough me to the place.  From there, I waited along with many people.  All sorts of emotions running through the mind and then for few moments and seconds I got to meet Sri Sri and I gave a copy of my book and when I requested him to write in my copy, he said "blessings".  

From there on after a lot of people left the Sunbury Ashram, I wen tot Margaret Court Arena and attend the event "The answer to all your questions."

The meditation was divine, very deep, I could not tell if I was meditating, hypnotised or was I just so tired that I fell asleep.  It was an experience.  

These were few of the things (in bullet points) that I captured when Sri Sri spoke at the event.

All our actions get fulfilled with intentions.  We need to know what we want.  Needs get fulfilled.  Nature provides you with your needs.  Believe it will happen.  Intently want.

I intently asked what is it that I want?

I want to do my PhD happily, with clarity, and good work ehtics.

I know I will get it.  By effort and by intention.

Guruji continued, when you feel it (the outcome) is not in your hands - we tend to pray.

1. Believeing what I want

2. I can do it - I have often heard my supervisor say this ... tellign ourselves that "I can do it"

3. Intense prayer

Prayer happens in two phases.  When we are helpless and when we are in gratitude.  

I asked myself, what is it that I am grateful for?  

Guruji, continued with a sense of desperation or being grateful - we pray and leave it to the divine.  Let it go or call it surrender.  Do your best and let it go!

I asked again, what is it that I want?

A fulfilled life, an inspiring life.

Being 100% present is important.  To be successful, we need intuition, innovative spirit, and energy.  this is what is spirituality.  For inuition we need to be stress free, have a calm mind.

Wishful thinking is a though that we don't believe.

Whereas, a want is we put in the effort and you will get it.  Believe.

There are several stages.  First stage is to bring that calm and then dreaming the impossible.

How to change energy?

When we are lonely, upset, angry use breathing techniques.  Apparently there are 600 research papers on the tumulus in DNA starts growing after Sudharshan Kriya (SKY).

It is important to create happy community, family, world.

Everytime we get angry at ourselves or just angry, we are punishing ourselves.  Have a say over your own emotions.

Loneliness on one extreme and agression on the other end of the same scale, in both cases we are harming ourselves.

Levels of existence

There are two levels of existence, firstly the classical chemistry and the quantum physics.  Everything is vibration (the same) and everything is different.  On an atomic level it is all the same.  Perhaps on a gross level the table is different to the char and different to the stand, howeer they are all made of the same wood.  Though they are the same (from the same wood) they are different.  They serve different purpose.  Not one superior to the other!  

Similarly, uniqueness is in all of us and yet there is underlying positivity, energy that is not changing.  That is what is self-realisation.  Spirit that envelopes the entire universe.  Brahma vidhya to tap into that area of existence.

Quiver free breath, confusion free mind, trauma free intellect is a birth right to every human being.

Lack of awareness is due to being too self-centred.  We need a sensible mind and and sensitive heart.  

Guruji continued that he kept sharing what he knew and that's how he became a leader - care for nature, care for human beings and feelign the connection across the family.

The longer you stare without blinking, the area of brain for creativity starts shrinking.

Power of acceptance.

What is it that you keep thinking about?

I then wrote a question in my book - why is it difficult to forgive others than ourselves?  Comparisons with others - start with where you are and slowly build on that is what I got.

Thank you for your wisdom Guruji and more recently referred as Guruji.

Been a while

 It's been a while since I blogged here.  Almost two months.

Tara says write 1000 words a day ... that's for the PhD thesis not the blog.  Writing about the PhD journey also helps.

I have been asking myself .... and reflecting.

It feels like I create a pattern, identify, then break it.  Asking myself what or how can I improve on what's already out there?  

There are some habits that seem engrained.  for example, not sure of what's happening for the day and the day goes on.  

I bring lunch - that's one thing I am sure of.  I have started vipassana but if I wake up after 6am, it is usually the 23-minute meditation followed by tea, breakfast, cook lunch.  I discovered if I have shower and then these things I tend to save 30 minutes somehow.  May be I muck around too much.

I have started Surya namaskars too, after funny muscles pull in the lower back.

This past one year has gone superfast, I can not believe it and I am super worried that if I don't' change my habits and keep doing what I am doing, it is NOT going to work.  Feels like a wakeup call.  I wish someone said these are the things I need to do and if I follow it I will complete it.   

After watching Tara's video - I got honest with myself - what has been working and what has NOT been working.  And moving forward I need to be task oriented not time oriented.  When I look at other students, I am in awe how much work they get done.  My supervisor's car is still at uni when I go back to my apartment and it is there in the morning when I get to the lab.  I don't know how that works or what time does she go home to sleep or not at all!?

I need to build solid robust habits that I cannot even trick or fool myself.

So what works or has been working well is getting up early (by 5:30am or 6am), then meditation and I am set for the day.  My lunch is planned a week in advance or the night before, my clothes are set too.

My room is almost always clean, I do the dishes the night before and have written what I am going to cook or have for breakfast and lunch, including socking the almonds.  I get to lab by 9 and I need to bring this to 8:30am.

Though I plan to write everyday it does not happen.  Why?  I give up too easily, feels like a chore, like a massive uninteresting task.

In the industry it was about firefighting and getting things done and getting a high from those fast accomplishments.  PhD is not like that, not at all .... it is like love, a commitment, a discipline, almost boring like meditation.

An important day for reflection

Today is an important day as I reflect, I asked myself what is it that I have learnt about relationships, life.   I am penning this down after nineteen years.

1. It is about communication - a dance 💃 in the conversation 

2. Disappointments are due to expectations 

3. Being playful, cheerful and happy are important

4. Encourage and inspire one another including myself. This is what feeds my soul.

5. Love and fun cannot be forced … whatever I do, do it out of love …. Actions out of love rather than force  

6. Remember to look after yourself

7. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual safety starts with me

8. Communicate what works and what is not agreeable

9. Whatever has happened, is happening is all for the best

10. Pray, bless, wish well for all beings

11. Have faith, trust

12. Remove myself from situation where I do not feel safe or cannot contribute 

13. Look after yourself as much as you look after others or everyone else

14. Relax, have a good time, enjoy life, have fun

15. Triggers are an indication of what is still a trauma, look 👀 within and work things out

16. Praise and/or insults - just observe drop them. Be indifferent to both. Getting emotional only gets me entangled leading to suffering and misery 

17. Keep writing, keep writing ✍️ share the wisdom through my stories, poems, and creativity

18. Being grateful for all people, situations and how far I have come 

19. Keep moving forward and look 👀 forward to the fun, challenges, wisdom life has to offer me.

With love and gratitude 🙏🏼 

Jaishree Ravindran 

18 August 2024 😌

Book reviews for "Wish you were her by Sheradin Jobbins" and "The Sain, the surfer, the CEO" by Roin Sharma

 I really enjoyed this book, felt as if I was travelling (like a fly ont he wall) with Sheradin.

Moral of the story - believe in the universe and things will happen in your favour!  

Happy to share my thoughts on a recent book that I listened to. I loved this book "The saint, the surfer, the CEO" by Robin Sharma and started journaling the key questions as I have my hot cup of chai in the morning.

The questions

1. Who am I and whom would I love to be?

2. Hhow would I live this day if I knew today was my last day?

3. ⁠What do I have to be grateful for in life?

4. ⁠One thing to make my life extra ordinary

5. ⁠What can I do to make today fun?

6. ⁠How can I help someone today?

This is the same author (Robin Sharma) who talks about 90-90-1 rule - for ninety days for ninety minutes do one thing towards your goal! Yesterday, I sat down o work on researching articles and was blown away, I kept goign past 90 minutes. IT gave me momentum to keep going and had a great feelign of accomplishment for starting a task that I had been putting off for a loooonnnggg time.