Regret

 Have you ever regretted?

I regret for regretting the lost time.  There is no use in regretting it, yet, it keeps scratching my brain about regret.

If I was to be on my dying bed, I would regret for not having worked harder.  I would have regretted for not having put in all the hours of research, have a structured approach to life and fun.  As weird as it sounds, I would regret for not having enjoyed life as much.  

I am asking myself, why am I regretting over lost time?  What sensation am I feeling and where?

Today, I had a good catch up with friends and I learnt that I complain, complain a lot and compare a lot with my ideal 'industrial' days.  I realise I had such a luxurious and posh life or am I finding it was all great on the hind sight?

 I need to refine my achievement for the day, I realise I stretch myself too much and not feel happy for not completing it and not doing it.  

Which works better?  Positive reinforcement is on reward system - having a chocolate cake for completing the literature review.  Negative reinforcement is on doing things out of fear.

Apparently the negative is not good int eh long term as it can affect your memory.

At times, I feel I aim too high.  SO today, I am gogin to be realistic with the buffer times.

A oen hour walk is actually 15 minutes of prep and 5 minutes to wind down and remainign walk.  Though I walk for say 3km, it is actually the prepping, walking, and wind dwon.

YEs, it takees me two hours to wind down and sleep fromt eh moment I enter the room.

A side note, it was refreshing to hear my place is peaceful, is it because I meditate here, or have I become numb to my surreoundings, or was it something new for the other person?

Total minutes in a day = 24 x 60 = 1440 minutes

Even if I was to do the above I have 2 hours of FREE time each day.

I ask myself what would I really like to gain out of my PhD?

1. BEing grateful for the day
2. Being happy and at peace 
3. Lay foundation for a good life - health, wealth, intellect
4. Build on a healthy lifestyle
5. Enjoying the process, especially the research process
6. Have a process that delivers outcomes
7. Learn to manage funds and money
8. Throw myself into my work and enjoy the process
9. Not feel oh I am missing out on this or that, just do it!

At times I feel like a stretched rubber band that has been let go ... don't know where will I land yet the momentum, the exhilaration feels like fun!

Book Read so far and my views

 So far I have read the following books or rather audioboooks

Post Augsut 2022 - Flow, 

In 2023 - Atomic Habits

I just realised I logged out of Borrow Box where I had listened to lot of audiobooks and waiting for Jay Shetty's Audiobook 8 rules of Love.

The puzzle I was workign on, I brought it to university and it is great to see so many students pitch in and true team effort.

Being Economical with egg-o-know-mix or Egg-o-no-mix

I got very excited this morning.  I had a good sleep and a good walk and was looking forward to breakfast.

As I had bread and scrambled eggs, I realised how the same meals with different variation causes variation in texture and hence the mouth feel.  Scrambled eggs, or be it omelette, and then it occurred to me I could have Bombay duck - aka savoury french toast.  Same eggs, same bread - just tastes different!  and another variation is plain omelette and bulls eye - sunny side up!

If someone was to call me an expert I will happily take that title on for Korma Specialist - yoohoo!!

It has taken me few years to perfect the recipe and every time it amazes me!

Same ingredients for the paste the only changes with the variation of:

1. English vegetables - beans, carrot, peas and potato

2. cauliflower and peas

3. cauliflower and nutrella

4. nutrella and potato

5. above with or without tomato

6. above with almonds/walnuts / cashew nuts for the final thickening

7.  another variation is more green chilly and no chilly powder

Today's planning was menu fr the week.  Let me see how much stick with it or do I like to rebel against my own wishes!

ReSearch - 03.04.23

According to the Oxford dictionary, research is the following:

The systematic investigation into and study of materials and sources in order to establish facts and reach new conclusions.

I have been having ebbs and flows.  It freaks me out and then it makes me curious.  Ahhhrrrgggrrr!  

when I have an open mind to learn, I understand what I am reading.  Ask me to paraphrase, I struggle!

What is systematic?

 a. Arranged or conducted according to a system, plan, or organized method; involving or observing a system; (of a person) acting according to system, regular and methodical.

(Reference - https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/196668?rskey=xDCwsS&result=1#eid, visited 03 April 2023)

I neither have an organised method, nor am I observing a system in an arranged method!

Yikes!  That is an awareness I need to do something about.

I am asking myself, am I enjoying or is it like hiking, where I do not like the actual act and however, I like to brag about the hikes I have been on!  I usually can't wait for the hike to finish.  I start and look forward to eating when reaching the top of the summit.  With research, it is a rabbit hole, the whole thing is a rabbit hole .... ahhhrrr!!!

So it has been 7 months since  started ... 7 months and 3 days :-) and 9 hours.  Yikes!