Been a while

 It's been a while since I blogged here.  Almost two months.

Tara says write 1000 words a day ... that's for the PhD thesis not the blog.  Writing about the PhD journey also helps.

I have been asking myself .... and reflecting.

It feels like I create a pattern, identify, then break it.  Asking myself what or how can I improve on what's already out there?  

There are some habits that seem engrained.  for example, not sure of what's happening for the day and the day goes on.  

I bring lunch - that's one thing I am sure of.  I have started vipassana but if I wake up after 6am, it is usually the 23-minute meditation followed by tea, breakfast, cook lunch.  I discovered if I have shower and then these things I tend to save 30 minutes somehow.  May be I muck around too much.

I have started Surya namaskars too, after funny muscles pull in the lower back.

This past one year has gone superfast, I can not believe it and I am super worried that if I don't' change my habits and keep doing what I am doing, it is NOT going to work.  Feels like a wakeup call.  I wish someone said these are the things I need to do and if I follow it I will complete it.   

After watching Tara's video - I got honest with myself - what has been working and what has NOT been working.  And moving forward I need to be task oriented not time oriented.  When I look at other students, I am in awe how much work they get done.  My supervisor's car is still at uni when I go back to my apartment and it is there in the morning when I get to the lab.  I don't know how that works or what time does she go home to sleep or not at all!?

I need to build solid robust habits that I cannot even trick or fool myself.

So what works or has been working well is getting up early (by 5:30am or 6am), then meditation and I am set for the day.  My lunch is planned a week in advance or the night before, my clothes are set too.

My room is almost always clean, I do the dishes the night before and have written what I am going to cook or have for breakfast and lunch, including socking the almonds.  I get to lab by 9 and I need to bring this to 8:30am.

Though I plan to write everyday it does not happen.  Why?  I give up too easily, feels like a chore, like a massive uninteresting task.

In the industry it was about firefighting and getting things done and getting a high from those fast accomplishments.  PhD is not like that, not at all .... it is like love, a commitment, a discipline, almost boring like meditation.