TED - The Empowerment Dynamic

 A friend suggested I read this book.  I got it from the university library.  I set the timer for 60 minutes and without any intterruptions or distractions, I started reading.  Tehre were a lot of thoughts that came to my mind.  I should be doing my PhD work, better spend the time on my PhD wiring, I should not take a break, blah blah, blah, blah.

Part one was all about Victim Orientation - how there are the perpetuators, victims, and the rescuer.

And seems liek it is in a autopilot mode.  A conscious choice would be to that of a creator.

Yesterday, I read about 52 pages with interruptive thoughts.  Today I set the timer for 30 minutes, so technically, I woudl read about 25-26 pages.  I read 28 pages.  Not bad that is a baby step progress.

SO what I really got was how and what my thoughts are doing?  Am I being a victim or a creator.  All the personal development I have done so far have pointed me to this direction.  

I have 468 days between now and 27 Feb 2026 - when the stipend stops.

Sometimes, people say you need to be clear in your vision.  And int he book Ted helped me, see one day at a time.  

It can be overwhelming to think, I have not done much and I have just over a year to complete my PhD.

So the big picture is splitting into three major circle:

1. The Experiments - what experiments to complete

2. The Thesis

3. The articles - literature review and the results for publication.

What are the baby steps I need and more so what is the mindset I need.  Is it useful or useless the thoughts or feelings I have - can I locate them on my body through sensations, or can I take a deep breath and let it go, or waht action do I need to disrupt the thought.

I woke up early at 5:15am today, did my one hour meditation, heard the birds chirping in the background, and after a shower I cooked and had chai and then the 30 minutes of reading TED.

Now that the rice is ready, I will have that and prepare to go to the office for writing.

Have an amazing day, I tell myself an d remember to be a creator .... what thoughts am I choosing consciously, choosing mindfully!  Where is the awareness taking me?

Scrolling through ....

Planning, procrastinating and postponing seem the theme.

I plan, I get excited and then when it comes to the crux of the performance, I want to back out ... take the back door.

I am more accepting of how I am feelign these days - the good, the not so good and all that in between.  Just being wiht the emotions, feelings, mood, without any judgements.

As I sit in meditation, the first few moments are or feels like … “Ahhh bliss and then it takes me somewhere so deep or is that sleep.  And then I wait for the gong ... yes I have been practising the Vipassana meditation and dedicating all the virtues to Masters, teachers, all sentient beings.  I want nothing, I am doing nothing, and I am nothing .... and then towards the end I say Lokha samastha sukhino bhavanthu ... may there be peace and happiness in all beings!

Today I felt I had PLENTY of time and now it is almost 1pm.  I realised it felt like a waste.  Sometimes it is good to experience waste.  I asked where and why did I lose my time.  Even though time is a concept, a mere concept, it felt like I lost a lot today.  I was almost ready by 9 am to go to the lab, then after some journaling and meditation, it was 11:30am and then ate bread butter jam and then more doom scrolling.  And then hmmmm here I am!

My timer on the smart watch is dinging.  I don’t' feel like going to he lab, I am merely finding things I can out of joy.  Where did I lose my sense of joy.  

And then I collected some articles I got to read while doing lab work and heading out.  I had the chai that I put in the flask, it was too milky and I think the fennel seeds that I had in the mortar and pistol gave a "base" like taste.  

I have this book beside the laptop that says "Making Life Meaningful Day by Day". Well, am I?  I am chipping slowly in the world of lactoferrin, despite the disinterest, I am doign my best to stay interested to complete the lab experiments, and stay in "joy" ... today I feel only 20 percent ... let's see how the day unfolds.

The hidden potential is surely interesting.  

Ten minutes gone and another 6 remaining out of the second lot of the timer.  as I lift my head I read "No one can give your goals.  No one can dig for you.  This is your journey" by Warren Philip Gates.  What have I done with so called my life, with my PhD, with so called mind.  I like the birds chirping away in the background, I like the scorching heat today.  

There is some kind of peace in this quietness and sounds int eh background, no phone calls, no nothing.  May be this is the way universe is showing and clearing my path to my destination.

Take it easy Jai a part of me tells myself.  BE in the moment, smile, be grateful, uplift yourself, instead of scrolling through the social media, scroll through papers of literature ... hahahah!!!